By Kris McFalls
’Twas the night before IG Day, when all through the house,
Not a creature was sleeping, not even a mouse.
The Kleenex was placed at each corner with care,
In hopes that the NyQuil would soon be there.
My four kids were sniffling all snug in my bed,
While visions of serenity danced in my head.
Poppa in his mask, and I in my rags,
Had just settled in for a long night of tag,
When up in the bathroom there arose such a clatter,
I dashed up the stairs to see what was the matter.
A sprint to the bathroom, I flew like a flash.
I hurdled the dog to sidestep a crash.
Tore open the door and what did appear,
But sweet Anne and brother Mike so dear.
With the skill of a surgeon so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, he must be quite sick.
More rapid than eagles my curses they came,
And I whistled and shouted and called them by name.
“Now B cells! Now T cells! NK cells! and ’cillins!
On Comet! on Clorox! On washcloths and villains!
To the top of his head and all over the wall!
Now wash away, wash away, wash away all!”
A spritz of Purell I generously sprayed,
Rubbed my hands quite firmly, then I did pray.
Back to the bathroom, the curses they flew,
With a cup full of pop, and some salt crackers too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the bed
The coughing and sneezing of poor little Ted.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the hallway Catherine came with a bound.
She was dressed all in flannel from her head to her foot,
And her nostrils were covered with dashes of snoot.
A bundle of green all stuck to her nose,
And she looked like a child who wanted to doze.
Her eyes how they dribbled! Her nostrils how scary!
Her cheeks were like roses! Her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the skin on her body was as white as the snow.
The end of the thermometer I stuck in her ear,
And the beeps they kept rising, as did my fear.
And where was the hubby, that jolly old elf?
Asleep when I saw him, I could shoot him myself!
A hug from my Catherine and a kiss from my Ted
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
I woke not the elf but went straight to my work,
And kissed all the children, then turned with a jerk.
And laying a tissue aside my nose,
And giving a yawn, next to the bed I did pose.
I counted my blessings, for each I gave thanks,
And then dreamed of IG day
To fill up their tanks.