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Posted on 19. July 2012

The Evolution of Goals and Dreams

By Carla Schick

When I was little, I swore I was never going to do two things: wear mascara and get married. Well, I've been brushing black mascara on my lashes since high school, and I have been husband-hunting since I was 20 years old. My point is that things change. Sometimes we're in control of that change, but more often than not, change occurs when we least expect it.

Those in the IG community have received an unwelcome change in the form of a chronic illness, which has for better or worse altered life's course into something unexpected. When we are young and healthy, we have no limits; the world is our oyster. But, the unexpected can force us to alter our list of goals and dreams. I know I've altered mine on several occasions. The trick is being open to those changes, and to roll with the punches so that we don't become discouraged.

Here's a current list of my top five goals and dreams:

  1. Drive Route 66 from start to finish
    I've always wanted to drive America's iconic 2,448-mile stretch of highway known as Route 66. Starting in Los Angeles, Calif.,  and finishing in Chicago, Ill., this tour would take me through Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico and Arizona - states many of my ancestors once called home.
  2. Write a book and get it published
    You're not really a writer until you become an author. One of my goals is to put my ideas for children's books down on paper, and God willing, get them published.
  3. Buy a first edition copy of E.M. Forster's "A Room With a View"
    Forster's 1908 publication, "A Room With a View," is my all-time favorite book. I always go back to it when I'm looking for a good read.
  4. Take an extreme driving course
    There's nothing like the adrenaline rush that comes from getting behind the wheel of a car going way too fast for its own good. I'm not what you would call an adrenaline junky, but I wouldn't mind learning how to do high-speed reverse driving, hand brake and J turns.
  5. Find my soul mate and marry him
    We have officially arrived at the mushy part. Yes, I'm still in search of "my better half", "Prince Charming", "Mr. Right", or whatever other titles I decide to assign my husband-to-be. One of these serendipitous days, maybe I'll walk into him.

Our dreams and goals make life tick. They keep us going in the face of adversity and hopelessness. Just because they alter as our circumstances change doesn't mean they're any less important. And it's a good thing that they evolve over time; otherwise, some of us would grow up to be spiders, mermaids or Power Rangers.

What are your life goals? Did they change after your diagnosis?


Comments (2) -

4:45 PM on Thursday, July 19, 2012

After my diagnosis, I left a bad marriage,met my soul mate, married him, and we don't do anything unless it is alot of fun.  I had never travelled, and since we have been together, we have been to Europe twice, visited many states in the US that I had never dreamed I would see.  We now have a beach house that we enjoy tremendously every summer, and I am blessed with 4 grandchildren.
We also enjoy riding our motorcycle, and we hope to travel to some great places together.
Prior to my diagnosis, I worked full time and devoted a great deal of time to my job, raised three children, whom have grown up and are on their own.
We are enjoying our life for the first time!
Our plans revolve around my infusions, however once I am back on my feet, I am living my life!

1:31 PM on Friday, July 20, 2012

When I first was taken ill, I became depressed, anxious. I had lost my career, my health and did not understand why. When the immunologists finally diagnosed me with CVID, it was a relief at first. Then I realized all that I had lost. Over the years I have an ongoing acceptance of the past, present and future.

I became an artist again, I hadn't touched paints since graduating college. I am actually more focused and therefore a better painter. I am also grateful everyday for just waking up. There are many times I enjoy the peace of being alone. I appreciate that this illness has shown me those who love me unconditionally and are willing to understand my illness and be caring. My husband and I work as a team to help with the house. I am able to know my limits and advocate for myself when I am too sick or just too tired to do simple household chores. I remember each day to try not to waste it worrying about things that are out of my control. I try to just stop and appreciate nature and life around me much more than before I was taken ill.

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